Early in my first year of teaching, I had an incident with one of my students, which was my “initiation” into dealing with defiant students. The student was the stereotypical football player, over six feet tall (he had a few inches on me), and every teacher had problems with him in class. My class was split in half by lunch, and the student was being quite rude and disrespectful the entire class. On the way to lunch, one of the other teachers gave him a reminder for a detention, and he ripped it up and threw it on the ground. As he started to walk away, I sternly said, “Don’t walk away, get back here and pick it up.” The student, not caring about what I said, continued to walk away. Seeing his totally disregard for authority, I lost my composure, and before I realized it, the student and I were in each other’s faces, yelling just outside the cafeteria. If I would have had more experience in dealing with situations like this, I would have been able to handle the situation much more civilized and peacefully. Though the student was out of my class for the rest of the day, the next few days were quite tense because neither of us had much respect for each other. It took time for us to make amends, but by the end of the year, we both had a mutual understanding of each other.
Had I followed the steps of the teacher-behavior continuum outlined by Dr. Wolfgang (Laureate Education Inc., 2008), I would have been able to handle the issue more effectively, peacefully and quicker without losing any respect for and from the student. In retrospect, there are several steps that I could have done in order to avoid such a vocal confrontation. The first thing I should have done was to keep my composure and take some deep breaths before confronting the student. The teacher that gave him the detention slip tried the “looking technique” and had no success, but had I taken time to listen to him, and ask why he was having a bad day, maybe things would not have been so volatile at lunch. By using the “naming technique” discussed by Dr. Wolfgang (Laureate Education Inc., 2008), I could have used a variety of “door openers” to find out what was bothering him before lunch and work towards ways to help him rather than make things worse for him. Ultimately, the goal would have been to help him the best I can, and also strengthen our teacher-student relationship rather than weaken it.
If I would have taken the time to listen to him, I’m sure we would have also strengthened the amount of respect we had for each other, and thus making the class run smoother in the future. A month or two later, I took the time to talk to him after school one day, and found out what was going on in his life. I also helped him review a test we took, and he made a comment about how easy the test was because a lot of what we learned was common sense. If I had spent time working with him sooner, I’m sure he would have excelled in my class throughout the year, not just at the end of the course.
During the actual confrontation in the cafeteria, there were several things I could have done differently. I could have calmly discussed with him why I was angry at him, focusing on how I saw he disrespect the other teacher, and also how this is an inappropriate way to act in school. Something else I could have done was change the way I commanded him to pick up the paper. Rather than saying, “Don’t walk away, get back here and pick up the paper,” I should have said, “Come here and pick up the paper.” Dr. Wolfgang points out in his discussion the idea of motor-meaning, where students “only hear the last thing” (Laureate Education Inc. 2008). In the case above, he most likely only heard the walk away part because he was already walking away.
This whole situation could have gone completely different had I been better prepared for situations like this and as a result made different choices on how to deal with the student. Using a “Ladder of Success” as outlined by Jones and Jones (p. 341, 2007), I could have instructed the student on how to make choices that would demonstrate proper behavior in school. In the same aspect, I could have used the same ladder of success for myself to make the appropriate decision on how to handle the situation. By teaching students how to use the ladder appropriately, they are given the power to make the correct decisions on how to handle tough situations and their feelings. “As it relates to communication, it means teaching students and ourselves a model for effectively dealing with our feelings,” (Jones and Jones, p. 340, 2007). This model gives students the power to make their own choices focusing on positive choices, which lead to success, or negative decisions, which lead to loss of privileges and possibly even disciplinary consequences. This would have been a great tool to use at the time because there would have been a power shift in a good way for the student and myself. He ultimately had the power in the situation because he got what he wanted: out of my class and away from the teachers, but had we followed this model, we both would have had the power. I would have maintained control of the situation, and myself and he would have had the ability to make proper decisions to vent out his frustration from outside issues.
As I look back on the whole situation, I know that I would have handled it completely different than I did, and I realize that as a result, neither of us learned how to deal with difficult situations in school. I do know now proper ways to handle situations and will employ new strategies discussed by Jones, Jones and Wolfgang to handle future deviant students.
References:
Jones, V., & Jones, L. (2007). Comprehensive classroom management: Creating communities of support and solving problems (Laureate Education, Inc., custom 8th ed.). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.
Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2008). Program twelve. Limit-Setting Techniques [Motion picture]. Classroom management to promote student learning. Baltimore: Author.
Travis, the first year of teaching is always difficult. Though we are required to do student teaching and take courses in our credential program, we also learn new things while teaching. It is important that you now realize how you could have handled the situation differently. When we reflect on our own actions and behavior, we can learn a great deal. I think this week's learning resources have provided great suggestions and strategies for all educators.
ReplyDeleteThough it took some time for you and your student to make amends, it is important that you both were able to understand each other by the end of the year. If you were able to develop a good rapport with this student and if he comes back to visit you, I'm sure that you both would be joking around about it. My hope is that your student appreciates what you did more him and appreciates your effort to talk to him. Simple efforts like that will make a lasting impression.
In the cases of student disrespect I have witnessed that are comparable to what you have described, all of the educators responded in much the same manner that you did.
ReplyDeleteFor me, in cases of extreme disrespect, I usually make it known to the student that the issue will be dealt with at a later time. This avoids the immediate escalation of the problem which can be made worse because of the needs of both the educator and student to maintain their power in the eyes of bystanders. Once removed from the situation and in a controlled environment, the issue can be dealt with in a more rational manner as you describe. This also allows for some time for adrenaline levels to come back to normal which can take around 20 minutes according to Dr. Charles Wolfgang.